DIRECTOR NEIL BLOMKAMP RESURRECTS CLASSIC “ALIEN” PROP FOR NEW MOVIE: Hello, Sigourney Weaver’s tank top.
ADELE TEASES MUSIC FROM HER NEW ALBUM: We still sobbed like babies.
SELENA GOMEZ REVEALS SHE HAS A CRUSH ON AN “AVENGERS” ACTOR: Hulk happy!
MICHAEL DOUGLAS TO RECEIVE AARP CAREER AWARD: For best trophy wife.
CHRIS ROCK IN TALKS TO HOST OSCARS: Excited, high-pitched talks.
TOM CRUISE SHOWED UP AT THE FLORIDA-LSU FOOTBALL GAME: The Gators used him as a kicking tee.
JWOWW REVEALS SECOND PREGNANCY AT WEDDING RECEPTION: It was a traditional Jersey wedding.
BRITNEY SPEARS SUFFERS WARDROBE MALFUNCTION DURING VEGAS SHOW: Unfortunately, she was watching Cirque du Soleil.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL NAMES HER DAUGHTER “ELSIE OTTER”: By throwing Scrabble tiles on the floor.
“THE GILMORE GIRLS” IS BEING REVIVED ON NETFLIX: We’re looking forward to another chance not to watch it.
JADEN SMITH COMPARES HIMSELF TO GALILEO: He saw a little silhouette of a man.
TAYLOR SWIFT IS ON TRACK TO BRING IN $1 MILLION A DAY: It costs a dollar to be part of her “pack.”
KALEY CUOCO’S EX, RYAN SWEETING, FILES FOR SPOUSAL SUPPORT: Or unlimited coupons to Cheesecake Factory.
TRACY MORGAN ANNOUNCES STAND-UP TOUR: If Brian Fellows opens, we’re in.
— DAVE LARSEN, RANDY PALMER, KYLE NAGEL
About the Author