Off the top of my head, why are there so many wobbly carts at the grocery store? Shame, shame and more shame on you if you have not noticed. Wobbly carts are dangerous and anti-American.
I propose a constitution amendment that will make them ILLEGAL. Any grocery store owner or shopper who violates this rule shall be taken out into the town square and given wet willies until they learn some respect.
I don’t know if you are woke enough to have noticed all the gum in certain places around town. I have because I am WOKE.
I propose a constitutional amendment that would require police departments to spend amounts up to $3 million on DNA testing to track down those responsible. Violators shall be branded with pictures of the Big League Chew man… right on their buttocks.
While you were sleeping, I drafted a constitutional amendment that would restrict the movements of motorists who honk their car horns milliseconds after the light changes. Such behavior is outrageous.
As a fitting penalty, those people would not be allowed to enjoy cheese or cheese byproducts if caught in violation of this principled act. No feta. No Gouda. None of the Jacks.
Horn honking should be reserved for emergencies or alerting a loved one or acquaintances that you are outside and ready to pick them up.
Speaking of loved ones, chicken wing bones should be outlawed. They are among the creepiest of all bones, and are offensive to my sensibilities.
Why are they necessary exactly? Do chickens really need wings? Farmers who produce chicken with wings should be taxed no less than 100 percent of their annual profits.
Let it be heard.
Let it be said.
Let it be known.
I am WOKE and I am not going back to sleep.
No one should have be exposed to the international epidemic known as leggings as pants. People wearing leggings as leggings instead of pants as leggings are the reason we cannot have nice things.
The buttocks must be covered.
We deserve nice things.
A constitutional amendment to tackle this ugly trend is not only needed, it is required.
I am not stopping at a constitutional amendment on this one. I am going to send some information to NATO and the United Nations requesting that resolutions are passed and sanctions are placed.
I am going to make this a better world, whether the world likes it or not.
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