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Leave Peggy alone, maybe she has a sick goldfish

You can’t make me smile for free.

Tell a fun, smile at me, greet me in friendship and I will probably smile.

I smile a lot.

It is the cool thing to do and I do it every single chance I get.

That said, I don’t smile all the time and won’t do it just because “women look so much prettier when they smile,” or I have “resting b**ch face” when I don’t.

I’ll change my mind on the matter if men being told “guys look far more studlier when they smile like the Cheshire Cat” becomes a thing.

“Hey big boy, you’d look way more genetically fit for procreation — and make it easier for me to look at you — if you flashed those pearl whites.”

Men can be accused of being sourpusses, but make no mistake, there is no real equivalent of “resting b**ch face” to describe a man’s face.

“Sure he’s more than competent at his job, but boy does he have resting mitch face,” is not a thing.

Everyone wants to look pleasant, but get over it.

I’ve suffered RBF and have, unfortunately, accused other women of being afflicted by it.

I am sorry about that last part.

They say it takes more muscles to frown than smile, but both smiling and scowling cause wrinkles — so there goes that argument.

Besides, RBF is not really about frowning.

Resting b**ch face is actually just the face a woman makes when she is working hard, concentrating, being unbothered, doing it to it, git’er done, figuring it out, typing, having a drink at the bar, walking down the street, waiting at the bus stop or otherwise minding her own gosh-dang business.

Worrying if your jaw isn’t in the right position can be exhausting and so, so, so very counterproductive and counterintuitive.

In other words, it makes no dang sense.

Worst of all, whole thing gives girls the misguided sense that how they look is more important than what they do, even when they are giving the world their best.

“She may wheel and deal in the boardroom, but what’s with that grump, grump on Pam’s face?

She might be jugging a job, a husband, a sick cat, a goldfish and three kids younger than 10, but boy wouldn’t it be nice if Peggy gave us a smile?

Peggy would be so pretty. We’d call her Pretty Peggy.

Peggy doesn’t have to give us anything.

She may give it freely, but neither Peggy nor Pam nor any other woman owes the world her smile.

Leave Peggy alone.

Better yet, why don’t you smile if you are into smiling for no reason so much?

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