D.L. STEWART: America protests the loss of its sauce


Children cried. Cops were dispatched to hold back angry crowds. Lawsuits we’re threatened. Boycotts were called for. America was in turmoil once again.

And who could blame it? Because this has become a country without Szechuan sauce.

Well, not exactly. There probably still is enough Szechuan sauce on the shelves of America’s supermarkets to fill a wok the size of Idaho. But it’s not McDonald’s Szechuan sauce. And that’s the issue, which came to a head after the fast-food empire announced it was making limited packets of its faux Chinese condiment available last Saturday.

Even though it hasn’t been on the McDonald’s menu for 19 years, the sauce has achieved cult status. In April, two packets of the sauce that a man said he found in an old car reportedly sold for $14,700 on eBay. Its appeal was revived by a recent reference to it on the television show “Rick and Morty,” which runs on Adult Swim and apparently is favored by viewers who enjoy hearing cartoon characters saying dirty words.

So when McDonald’s announced its one-day promotion, Americans flocked to the golden arches. Whether they planned to squirt the sauce on their french fries or merely stash it in old cars for future sales on eBay is unclear.

In Wellington, Fla., it was reported that a crowd in excess of 1,000 had camped out for hours to get the sauce and police had to be called to keep it from storming the yellow arches when it was discovered the limited supply had reached its limit.

Sign-waving crowds chanting “We want sauce,” were reported at other McDonald’s across the country. And, as America tends to do in times of national crises, it took to twitter.

“Anyone know how we can file a class action suit for false advertising?” one twit asked.

A mother tweeted that her sauce-deprived 9-year-old son was crying and threatened to never eat at McDonald’s again. Which, all nutritional things considered, would probably not be the worst decision the kid could ever make.

As a result of the kerfuffle, McDonald’s has apologized and promised to make the sauce available sometime in the future. So perhaps the furor will subside and the nation can once more turn its attention to other concerns, such as who’s kneeling at football games.

Still, it has to make you proud to live in a country where people have nothing more urgent to do than stand outside a burger joint and shout, “We want sauce.”

Although not all of America was upset, of course. Some people might even say the whole thing was silly. Especially people in Puerto Rico chanting “We want water.”



Reader Comments ...


Next Up in Local

Table 33 restaurant reportedly robbed in downtown Dayton
Table 33 restaurant reportedly robbed in downtown Dayton

Dayton police are investigating after a reported robbery at the Table 33 restaurant on West Second Street this afternoon. Initial dispatch reports indicated a suspect entered the restaurant, 130 W. Second St., around 5 p.m. and demanded cash from the register. There are reports the suspect, who was described as wearing a red t-shirt and camo pants...
8 hot cars at the Dayton Auto Show
8 hot cars at the Dayton Auto Show

Gleaming under the lights at the 2018 Dayton Auto Show, which opened today at the Dayton Convention Center, 22 E. Fifth St., are several hundred high-tech cars, family-friendly minivans and crossovers, rugged trucks and plush luxury vehicles, plus multiple attractions. You’ll see not only great vehicles but may win something worth upwards of...
Dayton urges communities to push Wright-Patt for action on water
Dayton urges communities to push Wright-Patt for action on water

Dayton has called on neighboring communities to send a message to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base to more urgently resolve concerns over the potential threat of contamination of a drinking water aquifer from tainted groundwater. The city has urged city managers to join it in signing a letter asking the base’s commander to act quickly prior to...
Soybean hauling pickup involved in 3-vehicle crash in Shelby County
Soybean hauling pickup involved in 3-vehicle crash in Shelby County

A farm wagon hauling soybean bushels detached from a pickup truck causing a three-vehicle crash on Ohio 66 south of Newport in Shelby County this afternoon. The cleanup from the crash, located near Rangeline Road, was ongoing at 4:30 p.m.  Authorities said the pickup truck was driving when the farm wagon detached and collided with a dump truck...
67-year-old Jane Seymour poses for ‘Playboy,’ ‘I feel much sexier now’
67-year-old Jane Seymour poses for ‘Playboy,’ ‘I feel much sexier now’

Elegant actress Jane Seymour is about to grace the pages of “Playboy” magazine at 67-years-old. >> Read more trending news  The former Bond girl took to social media Wednesday to share a modest photograph from her upcoming spread in the iconic men’s magazine. “I’m thrilled to finally share this with you! I was...
More Stories