BLAKE SHELTON TO OFFICIATE AT KELLY CLARKSON’S WEDDING: She chose him over Adam, Shakira and Usher.
KATY PERRY VISITS CHILDREN IN MADAGASCAR: Asks them where she can find the talking animals.
KATHY GRIFFIN’S TALK SHOW IS CANCELED: Last seen getting drunk with Anderson Cooper.
EX-PORN STAR JENNA JAMESON ARRESTED FOR BATTERY: The guy forgot his safe word.
KIM KARDASHIAN COULD BE FAKING JULY DUE DATE: Or, she could just really like cake.
WESLEY SNIPES RELEASED FROM PRISON: Surprised to learn fades are no longer in style.
ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER TO DEVELOP “SCHOOL OF ROCK” MUSICAL: Jack Black sits by the phone in Old Deuteronomy costume.
KID ROCK SCALPS HIS OWN TICKETS FOR $20: He would have asked for more, but he’s seen his show.
JAIME PRESSLY, ESTELLA WARREN FIGHT AT NIGHTCLUB: Well worth the cover charge.
RARE “STAR TREK” PHASER SOLD FOR $231,000 AT AUCTION: Most of the cost covered the galactic background check.
HALLE BERRY, 46, SAYS SECOND PREGNANCY IS “BIGGEST SURPRISE” OF HER LIFE: At least until the kid calls her “Grandma.”
ORIGINAL MOUSEKETEER ANNETTE FUNICELLO DIES AT 70: M-I-C — see you in Heaven.
TOM CRUISE “DIDN’T EXPECT” KATIE HOLMES DIVORCE: “That would be like Halle Berry getting pregnant at 46,” he said.
VIRGIN AMERICA RANKS HIGHEST IN QUALITY AMONG LARGEST AIRLINES: It’s really cool when they sacrifice the flight attendants.
AVON LEAVES IRELAND: Only so many shades of green eyeliner you can make.
DAVID LETTERMAN ASKS LINDSAY LOHAN IF SHE DRINKS TOO MUCH: She did a spit-take with her vodka.
— DAVE LARSEN, RANDY PALMER, TERRY MORRIS