I couldn’t fire up the NFL Network on my Time Warner Cable-fueled TV last week. I ended up getting into a painful web chat with a guy named Lionel, who was wearing khakis. He called up the wrong account and advised me to do something that about killed my screen. I finally fixed it myself by unplugging the box, then plugging it back in. Genius. The only thing that could’ve made this experience worse is if the annoying Bill Cowher had knocked on my door.
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Knucklehead of the Week
Surly slugger Barry Bonds will finally begin serving his sentence after being convicted of obstruction of justice two years ago. He faced charges after giving a rambling testimony in a case about performance-enhancing drugs in 2003. Basically, he didn’t answer questions in front of a grand jury, even though he was granted immunity if he told the truth. Let that be a lesson to you, kids. Bonds is facing 30 tough days of house arrest.