There will be no suspense about who will headline the Super Bowl XLVIII halftime show. It’s gotta be Miley Cyrus. The NFL won’t be able to resist hiring the awkward Miss Twerk, who would guarantee record ratings. But because the game will be played in frigid New Jersey, she’ll have to keep her tongue in her mouth or risk reenacting a scene from “A Christmas Story.”
Best sign in the College Gameday crowd Saturday morning: “I bought this sign from Manziel.” It included a fake “Johnny Football” signature. Johnny Manziel is everywhere, even when he’s not playing. Manziel served his severe 30-minute suspension in Texas A&M’s opener against Rice, then showed that he’s still a spectacular player. I tried to keep track of Manziel sideline shots, but I can’t count past 1,000.
Manziel also showed his true colors by drawing a late taunting penalty. And did he really rub his fingers together in a “show me the money” signal after his first touchdown pass? No way he wins another Heisman Trophy. The voters won’t give it to this spoiled brat even if he scores 70 TDs.
Urban Meyer has to be the happiest football coach in America. Ohio State’s steamy opener was never in doubt, but the Buckeyes gave their coaches plenty to pick apart in a 40-20 win over Buffalo. Turnovers kept OSU from covering the 34-point spread, and coaches love to harp about turnovers. Up next is San Diego State, which beat Boise State on the blue turf last year.
The best football game of the weekend might have been North Dakota State’s 24-21 upset of Kansas State. The Bison, two-time defending champions of what was formerly Division I-AA and now goes by one of those annoying FBCCBS acronyms, calmly drove 80 yards on 18 plays and scored the winning touchdown with 28 seconds to play.
It’s amazing how every conference in college football is “much improved” every single year, according to the coaches. Yet, every coach is concerned about his own team. But at the same time they’re “excited” to get the season started. If you took these guys at their word (don’t do that), the Big Ten would be tougher than the AFC North.
I hope Troy is still standing after the Mumford & Sons invasion. Cool event, although I’d be more interested in a Sanford & Son marathon. And I’m really looking forward to the season premiere of the Sons of Anarchy. Not a lot of folk music in that show.
Knucklehead of the Week
The U.S. Department of Labor fined the San Francisco Giants $545,000 because the ballclub violated federal wage and overtime laws. Among the 74 employees who were short-changed were clubhouse workers, who pamper the millionaire players. The Giants’ payroll is $136 million and their hands-off owner, Charles Bartlett Johnson, is worth $4.3 billion according to Forbes. Perhaps Johnson should be a bit more aware of what’s going on with his team. Happy Labor Day, Chuck.