Time for some predictions. We’ll start with this: Ryan Seacrest, who hosts TV shows that sports fans don’t watch, will never step foot on an NFL field again. And if he tries to duplicate Thursday’s awkward segment in Denver, he will be blind-sided by a linebacker who will become the most popular player in the history of the league.
Bengals won’t win the Super Bowl. C’mon, people, they’re still the Bengals. But Cincinnati does have the talent to win the AFC North despite Andy Dalton’s 5-7 career record in the division. Snarling James Harrison will make a big impact on defense, but the key to the season is to avoid the Houston Texans in the playoffs.
Browns will finish second in the AFC North. Like the Indians, the Browns are on the right track. With a solid defense, Cleveland will leap-frog Pittsburgh and Baltimore, which will come to regret giving Joe Flacco that huge contract. Browns old-man QB Brandon Weeden only has a couple years left so the window is closing.
Patriots will bring back Ben Coates. Hey, Tom Brady needs a tight end who’s not always injured or facing murder charges. Why not the guy who caught 490 passes from 1991-99?
Adrian Peterson will rush for 2,800 yards. The Vikings’ only option is Peterson, but he won’t win the MVP this year because Peyton Manning is going to throw 62 touchdown passes.
Terrelle Pryor will get a Raiders tattoo. I’m sure the former Buckeye has found an Oakland tattoo parlor that will apply ink in exchange for autographs and memorabilia.
College athletes will be paid … oh, sorry. I slid off topic so I guess we’re done with predictions.
It’s a Big Red Machine weekend in Cincinnati. The eight mainstays of those great Reds teams only played together four years, but their cumulative careers spanned parts of four decades. Pete Rose and Joe Morgan made their big-league debuts in 1963 and Ken Griffey played until 1991.
NASCAR is talking tough about how appalled it is that the girlfriend of Truck Series driver Mike Skeen slapped Max Papis after last week’s race in Canada. But, as they say, any publicity is good publicity. Papis, though, should keep hisboo-boos to himself.
The SWBL had an impressive Friday, going 3-0 against the Midwest Athletic Conference, which has more rings than your average sequoia. Valley View (44-7 over Versailles), Brookville (45-35 over Anna) and Eaton (32-22 over St. Henry) all gave the scoreboard a workout.
Knucklehead of the Week
John Boyett made a rookie mistake last week while partying in downtown Indianapolis. The Colts’ reserve safety was asked to leave Tiki Bob’s after being denied entry at 2:45 a.m. Monday. Boyett voiced his displeasure to a bouncer and police got involved. He ran, yelling, “You can’t arrest me, I’m a Colts player.” A day after the incident, during which he threatened to break a cop’s jaw, the Colts released Boyett, who can kiss his $405,000 salary goodbye.