D.L. Stewart

D.L. Stewart has been writing his nationally-syndicated columns for Dayton Newspapers since 1975 and he plans to continue doing them until he gets one right. Some of his columns are humorous, some are insightful and he hopes his readers can tell the difference.D.L. (that's his actual legal name) is a native of Cleveland, a graduate of The Ohio University and a five-time Pulitzer Prize loser. He focuses on his family, the Cleveland Browns and other oddities of life.

Latest from D.L. Stewart

D.L. STEWART: Is this new app the perfect answer to a wife’s questions?

Posted: 5 days ago

After decades of producing apps that will do everything from locating your car to determining the ripeness of a watermelon, technology finally has come up with something useful. It’s an app called Echo Look that tells women how to dress. And while It’s been described as “essentially an Instagram husband for single ladies...
Building a chain that links us all together

Posted: 7 days ago

Listening to the politicians’ ongoing arguments over immigration, something occurred to me: If it had been illegal for immigrants to bring other family members to this country 100 years ago, there would be no me. Because I’m a byproduct of what’s being derisively called “chain migration.” The first link in the...
For Chief Wahoo, it’s time
 Now that Chief Wahoo is being forced into retirement after more than 70 years of faithful service, I’d like to say a few words in defense of the Cleveland Indians’ mascot. — His origin can be traced to Louis Sockalexis, a Penobscot Indian in honor of whom the Cleveland Naps changed their name to Indians in 1915. —...

Posted: 21 days ago

Now that Chief Wahoo is being forced into retirement after more than 70 years of faithful service, I’d like to say a few words in defense of the Cleveland Indians’ mascot. — His origin can be traced to Louis Sockalexis, a Penobscot Indian in honor of whom the Cleveland Naps changed their name to Indians in 1915. —...
D.L. STEWART: Scattered applause for a motion picture’s reminder
 When the movie ended, the audience applauded and I couldn’t have been more surprised if a notice had appeared on the screen announcing that popcorn was going on sale in the lobby for 25 cents a box. To be sure, it wasn’t quite a standing ovation. Not the kind whooping and screeching you’d hear if Oprah or Ellen had declared...

Posted: 26 days ago

When the movie ended, the audience applauded and I couldn’t have been more surprised if a notice had appeared on the screen announcing that popcorn was going on sale in the lobby for 25 cents a box. To be sure, it wasn’t quite a standing ovation. Not the kind whooping and screeching you’d hear if Oprah or Ellen had declared...
D.L. STEWART: Real men wear short coats because being cold is cool

5:00 AM Saturday, Jan. 20, 2018

A letter writer to the chief fashion critic at The New York Times asked a question in last Tuesday’s edition. “My son is in college in Maine,” AMY, PELHAM, N.Y., wrote, “and the temperature is frequently below zero. It seems like every woman is swathed in an ankle-length black puffer coat from November to March. So...
D.L. STEWART: Tired of the daily grind? Talk to your gadget!

5:00 AM Saturday, Jan. 13, 2018

Because walking across a room or tapping on a keyboard requires way too much energy, technology is providing exciting new solutions to rescue us from the brink of our daily exhaustion — digital assistants. As the Associated Press reported this week, “From your couch you, you can now ask the Echo’s Alexa assistant to play...
D.L. STEWART: A problem for the ‘too-much-stuff generation’

5:00 AM Saturday, Jan. 06, 2018

Like most members of our generation, my wife and I have spent a lifetime accumulating stuff. We have walls covered with art work. Armoires stuffed with crystal, fine china and silverware. An attic filled with holiday trappings and photo albums. There’s not a flat surface in our house that isn’t littered with picture frames, candlesticks...
D.L. STEWART: Getting on board for some family time together
 On the day after Christmas, my 13-year-old grandson asked, “Grandpa, want to play this new board game I got?” I couldn’t have been more surprised if he’d said, “May we have Brussels sprouts for dinner tonight, please?” Because in my experience the current crop of 13-year-olds does not play board games....

5:00 AM Saturday, Dec. 30, 2017

On the day after Christmas, my 13-year-old grandson asked, “Grandpa, want to play this new board game I got?” I couldn’t have been more surprised if he’d said, “May we have Brussels sprouts for dinner tonight, please?” Because in my experience the current crop of 13-year-olds does not play board games....
D.L. STEWART: Sometimes a song is just a song

5:00 AM Saturday, Dec. 23, 2017

In the current atmosphere, no man in his right mind would make light of sexual misconduct. Nor should we. Still, it’s tough to ignore the “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” controversy that has been raging for years … even though I didn’t know it had been raging for years until last week. Until then, the only thing...
D.L. STEWART: She hails “kale,” but he craves “pizza”

5:00 AM Saturday, Dec. 09, 2017

In her well-intentioned, but largely futile, campaign to make me “eat healthy,” my wife took me to a new eatery for lunch the other day. (“Eatery,” by the way, is the fashionable word for places where you shuffle along on one side of a counter while servers on the other side of the counter force you to select from...
D.L. STEWART: Shaken, but not stirred, by current cocktail concoctions

5:00 AM Saturday, Dec. 02, 2017

My wife and I went to a fancy restaurant recently and decided to have a cocktail before dinner. When I asked the server for the drink menu, she handed me a list that consisted of 10 choices. Not only had I never heard of any of them, I had no idea what a lot of the ingredients were. One drink called a “Gin & It & Juice,” for instance...