Considering the moment before your forever

June 07, 2017

I wasn’t expecting this.

My future to come screaming from my past this week.

You know those reminders Facebook surprises you with on a regular basis?

“Daryn! We thought you’d like to look back on this memory from seven years ago!”

They can bring on a smile.

They can also bring on pain,

When someone who has passed or broken your heart shows up without warning.

The photo that popped up in my feed this week would be a curtain about to reveal my future.

The moment before my forever.

Seven years ago this weekend, I went on trip with my mom, sister, sister-in-law and nephew.

Nephew was 12 and getting honored at the Pop Warner football banquet in Philadelphia.

So we women folk met up. Like a girls’ trip plus one adored nephew.

Why not?

It’s not like there was somewhere else I had to be.

Someone else to be with.

The post is mostly photos of me and my goofy nephew.

My smile is somewhat authentic.

He’s always been such a great kid.

Any time with him then, at 12, and now at 19 has always been such a gift.

So that part of my smile was real.

What you can’t see in those pictures, but that I remember so well was my heart.

My hurting heart.

This was a sad, lonely time in my life. The juncture when I’d finally given up.

I believed there would be no true love for me, no family, no kids.

“Oh, sweet girl,” I want to reach through the screen to comfort so terribly sad, defeated me.

“If you only knew what was coming,” I would say.

Who was coming.

Seven years ago, exactly one week from when those photos were taken, my life changed forever.

I met him. The man I introduced to you in this column as “Mr. SummerFest.”

The one I now call, “Husband.”

Let me tell you about this man.

This man who has shown up as no man ever did before.

This man who adores me and who has made a life with me.

This man who is known to cut his toenails over the kitchen sink.

What?

You thought I was selling you perfection?

Hardly.

It’s better. It is so much better.

So much I had dreamed of has been filled with a partner.

Raising kids.

Cleaning up puppy poop.

Remember the part about not perfect?

I share not to boast.

It’s possible this is your sad time.

Your “my dream will never come true” time.

Whatever that dream is.

I share simply to divert you from your sad for 30 seconds.

To maybe consider the thought that every happy surprise has a moment before it happens.

Seconds of bleak, dark, challenging moments.

Maybe it’s possible this week is the moment before your life changes forever.

Keep your eyes open.

Your better might just be on its way.

A memory is about to be made.