To spouse or not to spouse? That’s the class reunion question

Oct 25, 2017

This was not in the book.

Not in the book about marriage — the one with 276 questions you and your intended should ask each other before you say, “I do.”

So you really know each other. Your true wishes and desires. How you go about things. Almost like you’ve known each other all your lives — instead of the months you’ve been dating.

Somehow, Husband and I sailed through all the really big stuff.



Raising kids.

It was pretty thorough.

Still, invariably, more than five years into marriage we find things that slipped through the cracks of 276 questions.

One showed up in my Facebook inbox this week.

An invitation to a reunion for my elementary school.

Sounds odd?

This was one amazing school, kindergarten through eighth grade. Enough of the grown-up kids still live in the area. And so we are set to gather. “We” being the topic of contention this week.

Do you bring your spouse or significant other to a school reunion?

Maybe I was single too long.

And by “too long” I mean forever.

And a few centuries past that.

Countless events that I attended dateless.

Even five years into marriage, I just assume you go solo.

Husband assumes you go together.


“Of course, together,” Husband makes his case. “It’s called ‘marriage.’ Invite one. Invite both.”

Where was the question about class reunions before we got married?

Our respective arguments strike me as odd.

You’d think after flying solo so many years, I’d be dying to finally have someone to take to an event.

And Husband?

He doesn’t even like people that much.

You’d think I’d have to drag him and he’d hate to go.

What’s he doing knocking on the door a school reunion, uninvited?

Yes, this might’ve been taken out of my hands.

“Just wondering — are we including spouses?” one former classmate posted on the Facebook invite.

“I think we are trying to discourage it, to keep the party smaller and also not bore our spouses with all those childhood memories.”

Makes sense to me.

Spend a couple hours finding out if Sam Morello lived up to “Most Likely To Go To Jail,” if Betsy Thorne is really still the nicest girl ever. If Natasha Klein is still a bully?

It’s a working night. Investigations.

Instead of spending that time explaining to Husband that Sam was always a nice boy, but you just knew he had penitentiary in his future.

Or just how mean Natasha was to Polly Ingrahm and her little sister.

Besides, there are no words to explain just how awesome Betsy Thorne was, and I imagine still is.

So what say you, Dear Reader?

Do you go to the reunion?

Do you bring your spouse?

A lot of questions.

Ones that should’ve been answered long ago.

Do I reunite with the one I’m united with by my side?

We will abide by your collective answers.

Weigh in at